9:30pm

di pa naman 11pm, 12am, or even past that. pero ikaw. ikaw, ang nasa isip ko. ikaw na agad ang nasa thoughts ko kahit di pa midnight.

tatanga tanga ka kasi yna eh. lam mo naman hindi nakakahelp magguard, todo bigay ka naman. papaload ka para lang makatext siya. ano yuuun? obviously attached ka na sa idea na may gusto siya pero di mo naman alam kung totoo. tanga mo, yna noh. HAHA. settling for a friendship full of confusion.

uy, nakausap ko si kuya andy kahapon. dami kong nalaman. i heard you were emotionally unstable. nagopen up ako sa kanya na nagassume ako na baka may gusto ka sakin. eh pero ano? hah. nalaman ko na you were just overfriendly. ginagawa mo yun sa LAHAT ng babae mong kaibigan. nalaman ko pa may gusto kang iba hahahah. so stupid of me to believe i was the special one out of all. 

pero lam mo, maybe it’s better off this way. maybe it’s a whole lot better na magkalayo tayo. nasasaktan ako kahit di tayo. gulong gulo na ako sayo. klarong klaro na kung ano klaseng kang tao. sakit, pat :) 

THE FACT YOU KNEW IT WAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A WRONG MOVE, YOU STILL CONTINUED TO PURSUE THIS KIND OF FRIENDSHIP WITH ME. 

THE FACT NA ILANG BESES KA NA SINABIHAN NA WAG. WAG SI YNA. WAG KAHIT SINO NA GANYANIN MO PERO HINDI EH. :( You still continued…


and what are we left with? 


a broken friendship.

our friendship could’ve gone better but i know i had my part pero ang daya daya kasi alam mo na eh :( why didn’t you let our friendship blossomed with having Christ in the middle. Christ-centered diba? :(

naiinis ako sayo. inis na inis na you still chose to compromise your promises to yourself just for the sake of my friendship…or even to your other girl na friends. ano ba, pat. ang sakit. ngayon we’re both bearing the consequences. akala ko ba alam mong pagod na ako sa gantong paulit ulit na sakitan? 

i thought you were different lang talaga. i don’t know na. i think this is the end of our friendship. i don’t want to give it up but if this is going to be this clear to end it, then we shall.


buti na lang noh…buti naliwanagan ako. tama na talaga yna. let it be. 

12:04am

whatjhaywhat:

Now, now, now.

I only write about people I seriously take and you..? You are a blessing to me. :)

I really love how compassionate about God. I sometimes look forward to listen to your jokes every time we meet. You might not be qualified for that “tall, dark, and handsome” standard, but you being yourself? Hahaha that is enough. I’m guarding my heart very carefully, I get so excited to hear about how God works in you. :) I can’t love you more than a brother because we’re young but I’m so thankful you inspired me to become a person who loves God more than the opposite gender.

We’re too young for love, relationships, and stuff but I just pray you will continue to keep on track with God.

HAHAHA. ito na naman.

The way to Bataan

Hi hello (again)

Grabe lam mo, gusto ko iparamdam sayo right now na I really care for you. Why is this too hard for me? Bakit laging nalalaman ko na may gusto yun guy sakin pero di niya alam na alam ko? Tae nahihirapan na ako ha. HAHAHAHAHAH. Yung kay Quinn, Sid, Patrick.

MAS NAHIHIRAPAN AKO MAGGUARD FOR GB ANUNAAAAAAAAAA?

Pero hello, I gotta learn to keep my guard higher than usual. Kahit kating kati na ako magkalovelife. This year is gonna my first year I’m going single the whole year. 4th month of the Year pa lang, NAHIHIRAPAN NA AKO DAHIL SA OPEN DOORS AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR STUMBLING BLOCKS!! :–(

But maybe God placed you there to test me. Maybe God placed you there to teach me a new perspective in life. #SINGLELIFEKAMOWN

08-4-17

Hi, another vulnerable time and letter that I want to record.

Patrick, hi. :) Everything I want to tell you, dito na lang ha? hehehe. 

Di na ako prepreno sa mga sasabihin ko.

Hey, it was last Saturday when I learnt that you liked me. It didn’t seem to be believable since I knew you liked someone else and you’ve always told me that I’m far from your standards and all. Pinaramdam mo talaga sakin na I was just a friend to you. Or more like as a “Kuya” to me. LOL. 

But then, yeah. I realized and took my time to observe this whole week if it was true. Didn’t seem true but I lie between what you told me versus what Teej told me. 

Sa totoo lang, I really like you. It’s just something I don’t want to admit to myself. It wasn’t until yesterday when Mikay helped me admit myself to the wild truth. All this time I’m being overwhelmed by Quinn, not realizing I’m actually hurting myself. Kaso, tae badtrip ka. HAHAHAA. Ngayon, malalaman ko may gusto ka sakin. 

Tinodo ko magforget ng feelings sayo. Thank you for your efforts though. You da best, Pat. Kaso di natin timing or season. Pat, wag ka umamin ha. Please lang. 

 Alam mo kahit natetempt akong mahalin ka or maging together tayo, di ko kakayanin. AYOKO TALAGA BES. 


tinatamad na ako magtype bye

nahihirapan na ako.

Dear GB,

I met the “guy” in the past again. I still remember how much I sacrificed for him, how much I loved him, how much I gave my all to him. Sobra ko siya namiss. I wanted to be closer to him. Back into his arms like how we used to be. How he kissed me under that lamp-post, how he hugged me so right into his arms, how he carried me so happily, and how I held his hand. Gosh, I was so tempted to sin. Namiss ko siya. Pero that came with a lot of healing and consequences. I just wanna be held again. But I know you’re out there somewhere. Trying to correct your mistakes and trying to be pure for the both of us. I’m keeping myself pure for you, GB. I know it’s going to be a hard ride. I choose to lose myself over a temporary feeling over a commitment that I won’t regret with you.

This is my first vow to you. 

To be pure.

dear Gb,

i can’t wait to meet you. :) you’re the reason why i’m guarding my heart. i’ll forever love you, bee. it’s so enchanting to know that you’re “the one” from the Above. my heart flatters just thinking the idea of you. of someone who will love me the way the Man above does. i pray that He’ll be in the center of our hearts. i pray you’ll stay to keep your heart pure until you meet me. maybe one day, i might this letter on our wedding day. i can’t wait to wake up to those days knowing that i’m blessed with an imperfect significant other that is actually from Him. i’m currently 16, GB. you have to wait for me until 22 ah? :) i promise you that the wait will be over soon. i’ll love you to the fullest, bee! through thick or thin. i hope that you’re okay right now. see you soon, Gb! :) 

one day…

one day, i’ll love you to the fullest.

 one day, i’ll never have to be afraid to say “i love you”

one day, i’ll hug you every morning

one day, i’ll wake up and realize how blessed i am to have you

one day, i’ll cook you your favorite food

one day, we’ll never have to stop limiting ourselves from loving each other.

one day, we’ll go on unexpected roadtrips

one day, we’ll have midnight talks.

one day, we’ll worship and serve God together

one day, we’ll have our devotions together.

one day, we’ll be proud of each other.


 i can’t wait for that one day where we’ll be together. :) 

huwag muna

Alam mo,

sobrang GB material mo.

ang bait bait mo.

hinahangaan kita noong unang pagkakilala ko sayo dahil sa pangunguna mo kay God.

madami akong nakakakilala na may gusto sayo.

and kinilig ako noong nalaman kong may pagtingin ka pala sakin. kwinekwento ng mga ka-d12 mo na, iba yun tingin mo pagdating saakin tapos minsan, nagiiba daw yun ugali mo kapag nakikita mo na may kasama akong lalaki. ang cute lang.hehehe.

matagal na palang ganun. di ko alam kung nagkagusto ka outward appearance ko or sa paguna ko rin kay God sa buhay ko. minsan napapaisip din ako na sobrang undeserving to be liked by a guy like you. minsan, naiisip ko din what if gusto mo ko ipersue?

kaso, hindi eh. :) hindi pwede, diba jhay? may priorities tayo, bawal muna. kaya ngayon pa lang, i gave you to God na. if it’s really you, I asked God to remove all of these imaginative thoughts.

better late than sorry diba? ayoko din naman maruin what God has prepared for you. pero baka nga lang mababaw lang. baka ako lang tong assuming. babae kasi eh, struggle ko tlga. :( frontliner ka and I have to protect your testimony as well.

While you are guarding your heart, you are guarding mine too.

DQ, sa tamang oras na lang. pagprapray kitang sana maging okay ang lahat para sayo. God bless na lang. Kita-kits sa church.  

nagpapaalam,

Yna.

12:04am

Now, now, now.

I only write about people I seriously take and you..? You are a blessing to me. :)

I really love how compassionate about God. I sometimes look forward to listen to your jokes every time we meet. You might not be qualified for that “tall, dark, and handsome” standard, but you being yourself? Hahaha that is enough. I’m guarding my heart very carefully, I get so excited to hear about how God works in you. :) I can’t love you more than a brother because we’re young but I’m so thankful you inspired me to become a person who loves God more than the opposite gender.

We’re too young for love, relationships, and stuff but I just pray you will continue to keep on track with God.

Woops

Now, now, now.

I only write about people I seriously take and you..? You are a blessing to me. :)

I really love how compassionate about God. I sometimes look forward to listen to your jokes every time we meet. You might not be qualified for that “tall, dark, and handsome” standard, but you being yourself? Hahaha that is enough. I’m guarding my heart very carefully, I get so excited to hear about how God works in you. :) I can’t love you more than a brother because we’re young but I’m so thankful you inspired me to become a person who loves God more than the opposite gender.

We’re too young for love, relationships, and stuff but I just pray you will continue to keep on track with God.